"My skirt isn't sparkly," she sobbed. "I won't be beautiful."
I quickly searched my mental files for how best to handle this - ignore it & continue readying ourselves or stop for a teachable moment. I opted for the latter.
"Big girl... Do you know what truly makes your outfit sparkly?" I asked.
She looked at the floor, then me, & responded curiously, "No."
"Your spirit makes you sparkly - when you're friendly, generous, adventurous, happy,... That makes you beautiful big girl."
This resolution seemed to calm her in that moment, & we still revisit the concept from time to time.
* * * * *
I recently began a challenge called Project 333 (www.TheProject333.com) - the concept of a wonderful simplicity writer named Courtney Carver. In short, you only utilize 33 items in your wardrobe for 3 months. For more specifics, please check the website.
"Why?" You may ask. "What's the point?"
I was raised to be a shopper - a bargain hunting fashionista. I consumed mountains of magazines selling clothes & accessories that would make me beautiful & attractive. Subconsciously, my self image & my clothing became intertwined.
As I become more confident in my true self, I realize that fancy outfits, kick butt shoes, & designer labels have absolutely nothing to do with true beauty & attractiveness.
My spirit makes me sparkly - my friendliness, my generosity, my sense of adventure, my attitude,...
I make my clothes. My clothes don't make me.
Therefore, I can wear the same 33 items repeatedly in different ways, & it shouldn't make any difference whatsoever.
My wish for my daughter (& myself) is to not equate self worth with the material that covers our spirit. It took me 33 years to grasp this concept so she has a 29 year head start thank goodness ;^)
Sasha,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through Courtney's blog and I'm so glad I did. You're in my reader now. Looking forward to hearing more of your perspective on life. Your words/thoughts are a balm.
Thx so much for those generous words. It's nice to know it resonates with someone. It's difficult *not* to share the goodness when I feel so inspired. Thx again!
DeleteThat was a good comment to your daughter. The other thing my mother taught me was that if you aren't quite dressed right for whatever event you're attending, just act like you are. At a party but way over dressed? Sit on the floor with the rest of them as if that happens every day. Not quite dressed enough? Put on your power posture and a bright smile and shine! Your attitude is often what makes you appropriate.
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